Agreed to make bad games, What the Hell is Titan Fall 60
by admin## Chapter 60: Old Horse, Aaaa!!! 【Subscription Request】
2024-07-17 Author: Bulufen Warrior
Chapter 60: Old Horse, Aaa—aa—!!! 【Subscription Request】
What’s the most classic trope in Chinese horror?
It has to be arranged ghost marriages.
冥婚 (Minghun, ghost marriage), is a practice of finding a spouse for a deceased male or female. This spouse could be another deceased person, or even a living one.
Such a terrifying, even cruel, tradition naturally became the source of countless ghost stories.
Influenced by these ghost stories, Chinese people naturally developed a deep fear of this scene.
Skeletons, vengeful spirits, Satanic demons.
All pale in comparison to the terror of ghost marriage.
“No… this game’s designer is a psychopath! I swear to God!”
Liu Peiqia’s voice trembled.
Seeing this scene, the barrage was filled with gasps –
‘Shengzi Ge is a total psychopath’
‘He’s a real beast, he knows exactly what Chinese people are afraid of’
‘An old mansion, the perfect ghost hunting map for Chinese players’
‘I feel like Shengzi Ge doesn’t even need to do anything. Just putting up paper figures, paper horses, and a couple of dim red lanterns is enough to make players paranoid’
‘This map is a little too much, you’re scaring the players, but even I, watching the stream, am getting chills down my spine’
‘I’ve turned on all the lights in my house’
‘I’m gonna go take a piss’
‘I’ve wrapped myself in my blankets, ghosts can’t harm people inside blankets’
‘You know the power of comprehensive defense’
‘Make sure you don’t let your feet hang off the bed…’
‘You guys are so superstitious, like me, I’m watching the stream kneeling in front of Guan Yu’s statue, not scared at all’
Accompanied by the sound of footsteps, the four of them passed through the courtyard and reached the front door of the main room.
Leading the way, Teacher Ma raised his EMF and scanned the door. Confirming that there were no ghost fluctuations inside, he cautiously pushed open the door.
Creak-
The old wooden door groaned, sending shivers down their spines.
The main room was dim, with only two white candles on an octagonal table in the center of the room, their tiny flames casting a faint, eerie glow.
On the armchair to the left, lay a black and white photo of a man.
On the armchair to the right, it was empty.
The situation they all dreaded most had occurred –
Xiu Niang, the ghost they were investigating this time, was the sacrificial bride of this ghost marriage.
The goal was clear, the next step was to summon the ghost.
The four of them looked at each other.
Then, they started to frantically shirk responsibility.
“Come on, Zizi, let out a yell!”
“I can’t, my throat’s been hurting lately. How about Di Zong? He can definitely chat with the female ghost!”
“We’re not that close, Donggua, you go. You have a big voice…”
“That won’t do, you guys are all veterans here, how dare I be so audacious. I’ll choose Teacher Ma, he’s made contributions to the team…”
“No, no, I can’t be too flashy, you go…”
“Still, you go…”
“How about he goes…”
“I’m definitely not going…”
For a while, the four of them stood at the entrance of the main room, arguing fiercely, each backing away further.
The viewers were in stitches –
‘《FPS Division: Brothers in Harmony》’
‘They’re all scaredy-cats’
‘Because expert difficulty has no safe time, ghosts can hunt you at any time’
‘Why don’t you guys find a proper class to attend’
‘Pay attention to the entry time’
‘《Extreme Tug of War》’
‘If you guys keep pulling back and forth, you’ll all be wiped out…’
Perhaps the barrage served as a reminder, perhaps they realized that if they kept this up, they’d be back at the front gate.
Finally, Donggua stepped forward!
“Everyone! Everyone! I have a suggestion!”
Donggua raised his hands, looking like the Shiba Inu from the meme ‘Everyone, listen to me’:
“Let’s just accept our fate, alright!”
Hearing this, the other three nodded, intrigued. “Alright, how do we accept our fate?”
Seeing that they agreed, Donggua clapped his hands: “Come, follow my instructions, it’ll be absolutely fair—”
Under his instructions, the four of them entered the room together, first locking the door, then dragging the octagonal table to the center of the room.
Next, Donggua placed their flashlights in the four corners, and set up the dot matrix projector on the octagonal table.
The dot matrix projector was originally used to detect ghost movement. Once turned on, it has the effect of a disco ball, coupled with the four flashlights.
The spooky ghost wedding hall instantly transformed into a ludicrous yet familiar sight.
And at this moment!
The viewers seemed to realize what this bunch of fools was going to do.
‘???’
‘Ghost: I have a bad feeling about this’
‘Are you guys going to…’
‘I suggest taking Donggua to see a doctor’
‘If all else fails, try Chinese medicine’
‘I feel like something crazy is about to happen’
‘Wait! It seems like Donggua is already handing out glow sticks!’
‘Isn’t that thing used to detect ghost footprints on the ground?’
‘Disco ball… spotlight… glow sticks… This is… a…’
‘Disco… Discotheque?!?!!’
“Everyone!”
Having finished setting everything up, Donggua clapped his hands.
“Ready?”
Re—dy—!
They weren’t fools, they all knew what kind of crazy stunt Donggua was about to pull!
But!
At this point, they had no turning back.
After all, if they chickened out now, they’d forever bear the mark of being scaredy-cats!
As everyone was ready!
Donggua, leading the way, brought the glow stick to his mouth!
“Ladies and gentlemen! Here’s a music festival brought to you by DJ Donggua! Let’s get this party started!”
As he shouted!
The public microphone played vibrant DJ music!
Donggua, too, swayed to the rhythm!
“One, two, three! Nine Heavens Dance!”
Do-do-do!
“Music Factory! Dance Extravaganza!”
Do-do-do!
“Bring it to you—let me see your hands—Woohoo!”
The next second! A chaotic dance party erupted!
Do-do-do! Do-do-do!
Glow sticks waving wildly, the explosive, earthy DJ track perfectly synchronized with the dot matrix projector’s light patterns!
Good!
Donggua’s so-called acceptance of fate was a strategic retreat, a deliberate attempt to provoke Xiu Niang, forcing her to reveal herself, letting them die quickly.
At the cost of sacrificing one unlucky soul at random, they would gain information about the ghost!
The explosive and terrifying scene of death-defying madness sent the live stream into a frenzy.
The viewers on-site were laughing their heads off.
“What the hell! A discotheque in a ghost wedding hall!!!”
‘You guys are so stupid, hahahaha!’
‘Sacrifice one at random, right?’
“I can’t take it anymore, I’m going to laugh myself to death”
‘Bring cement! Gather at the village entrance!’
‘(Dance)(Dance)(Dance)’
‘What the heck! Talent!!!’
‘The King of Hell: Why are there four names of nonconformists flickering on my Book of Life and Death?’
‘Xiu Niang only regrets that she can only take one soul with her each time she hunts’
‘You guys are playing dumb, right???’
‘No way? Who’s the real ghost?’
‘Unbelievable…’
‘Xiu Niang: What kind of damn noise is that?’
‘Oh my god, I’m crying from laughter hahahahaha…’
‘You guys are really unlucky to have encountered Xiu Niang’
‘…’
Remember!
This is an expert map, the ghost has no cooldown period, easily provoked, and can initiate a hunt at any moment.
Therefore, before they could truly lose themselves in the dance!
Less than half a minute later!
The candles in the room suddenly extinguished!
Following this, all the flashlights flickered!
The scene became even more like a disco!
“She’s hunting!!!”
Amidst the upbeat DJ rhythm, Donggua shrieked!
Fear and excitement intertwined, surging with adrenaline!
Everyone looked around!
“Nothing?”
Liu Peiqia scanned the room, but couldn’t see a ghost anywhere.
“Yeah… I don’t see anything either…”
Liu Di and Teacher Ma also looked around, no ghosts, not even a shadow.
However!
Just as everyone was puzzled!
Donggua felt something like a strand of silk obstruct his vision.
He instinctively reached out to brush it away, and looked up –
A pale face appeared before him, staring right at him, face to face.
The woman was hanging upside down from the ceiling beam, her red wedding dress and hair cascading down.
Her paper-white face was slightly swollen, and her two hollow eye sockets oozed blood. Her mouth, bigger than a football, gaped open, as if it could devour a person’s head in one bite.
Snap!
Without any hesitation!
Donggua vanished instantly!
The upper right corner of the sensory display immediately showed his disconnection notification.
He freaked out! Disconnected on the spot!
At this moment!
The remaining three also witnessed that unforgettable scene, and completely lost it!!!
Their combined screams were enough to blow the roof off the old mansion!
“I’m **** running! I*** you*** the *** I***—!!!”
They tossed their glow sticks and ran for their lives!
Behind them, as the ghost’s cackle echoed!
Xiu Niang dropped from the ceiling beam, her joints snapping, landing on all fours, looking like a terrifying spider, and sped towards the remaining three!
Liu Peiqia felt his guts about to burst!
In his panic, he grabbed Di Zong next to him and ran for his life!
Following the main room eastward, the two found a large wardrobe and tumbled into it, crawling in!
“What the hell!!! What the hell, what the hell! Hold the door!”
“I’m holding it, I’m holding it!”
“It’s broken, it’s broken, it’s broken! She’s pulling on the door from outside!”
“Ahhhh! Pull hard! Zizi pull hard!!!”
“WDNMD I’m already pulling!”
“Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! It’s wrong, ma’am!”
“No more! I won’t do it again! I’ll hang you…”
“…”
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Bang —
Finally!
When the dust settled and the EMF stopped beeping.
The force that had been pulling on the door handle outside disappeared.
After a full two minutes!
Liu Peiqia and Liu Di in the wardrobe slowly breathed a sigh of relief!
“Whew— What the hell— ”
“She’s probably gone now, right?”
“Maybe, the EMF isn’t beeping.”
“Let’s… go check?”
“Let’s go…”
As they spoke.
Liu Peiqia slowly released his grip and pushed the wardrobe door open a crack.
Creak—
Outside, there was nothing.
Xiu Niang, in her red dress, seemed to have finished her hunt and retreated once again.
But the question was… who did she hunt?
Liu Peiqia and Liu Di exchanged glances.
Then, their expressions simultaneously changed!
“What the hell!!!”
“Old Horse!!!”
With a bang, the two pushed open the door.
They were greeted by a corpse lying on the ground!
It was Old Horse!
He died right outside the wardrobe, with one hand even resting on the edge of the wardrobe!
In a flash!
An extremely bad guess took root in both their minds!
“Could it be…”
“The one who was pulling on our wardrobe door…”
“Wasn’t a ghost?”
“It was Old Horse???”
Just as they said it!
In the bottom left corner of the game screen, a line of text appeared –
【Wuhan Old Horse: Yeah, my mic was acting up】
Wipe—!!!
In an instant!
Regret, due to a series of unfortunate events, overwhelmed the two!
Especially Liu Peiqia, he directly donned the mask of pain, clutching his head, and started weeping!
Because just now, he had been the one pulling on the door the hardest!
Leading to Old Horse’s tragic death outside the wardrobe!
“Ah… ah… ah…!!!”
The next second! A mournful wail echoed through the live stream! He began to wail in grief on the spot!
“Old Horse, Aaa—ai—!!!”
“Old Horse—!!!”
“Aaaaaaaaah!!!”
The effect was explosive!
The viewers were in hysterics!
‘Hahahaha, grass! Awesome! Amazing!’
‘The showmanship is off the charts!’
‘Hahahahahaha I haven’t stopped laughing since the disco started, and now this damn amazing stunt!!!’
‘Quick! Who knows how to play the suona!’
‘Old Horse has to lie down and be covered in a white sheet today, or it would be disrespectful to Liu Peiqia’s performance…’
‘I’m so tired from laughing, I really have no energy left, help, someone save me…’
‘This part should be included in the Beijing Film Academy textbook’
‘He’s crying even more tragically than if Old Horse was really dead’
‘I declare it as another legendary moment in the history of sharking, equal to 《Papa is Hard at Work!》!’
‘《Zizi Cries for Old Horse》’
‘Hahahahahaha I really can’t laugh anymore’
‘This game is too top-notch! Scary and funny! It deserves its title!’
‘I don’t allow anyone to have an ArtTour X1 without this game!’
‘Fu Ge v50 for Old Horse’s condolences’
‘Hahahahahaha grass!’
‘…’
…
“…Yeah, the exchange rate variable I used in the article is the monthly data of China’s actual effective exchange rate after the currency reform in July 2005, and the trade balance variables are IM and EX published by the National Bureau of Statistics, then I adjusted them for seasonality and logarithmically.”
“Okay, I’ll then conduct stationarity tests on each variable according to the listed theory, okay,”
“Okay, then you can rest, teacher. I’ll send you the edited version by email, bye.”
Click.
That night.
Shen Miaomiao hung up the one-and-a-half-hour long voice call, closed her laptop, and sighed in relief.
She raised both her small fists above her head and stretched out her arms:
“Whew— oh my gosh, I’m dead…”
She had been busy with her dissertation for the past few days.
It wasn’t because her dissertation was overly complex.
It was mainly because she had been too lazy before, and hadn’t written a single word of it.
Originally, Shen Miaomiao planned to finish it before the deadline.
But unexpectedly, her advisor suddenly informed her that week that they were going to use her dissertation, “A Study of China’s Currency Exchange Rate and International Trade Balance”, as a demonstration dissertation for public defense, and that the leaders of the Education Department would be attending.
This was a real bummer for her.
She worked through the night, drafting, revising, organizing literature, and communicating with her advisor.
For a whole week!
It was only because there were no projects at the company lately, and she didn’t have to go over to “manage the situation” as the slacker CEO.
Otherwise, she wouldn’t have been able to juggle both the company and the dissertation.
Moving her sore shoulders, Shen Miaomiao flipped through the calendar on her desk.
She noticed that today was circled in red.
Shen Miaomiao was startled, then slapped her thigh!
“Oh! I’ve been so caught up I forgot! Today is Terror Phobia’s settlement date!”
——
PS: Five chapters updated on the first day, 20,000+ words! Please give me some recommendation tickets and monthly tickets!
(End of Chapter)
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