Landing 500 Years Early, I Became a God by Digging for Treasures 92
by adminChapter 92: The Elegant Tiger, Cat Mama?! (4000 words)
June 4, 2024
Lu Yuan remained silent, quietly watching his “comrade’s” performance.
“Comrade” seemed a little embarrassed, explaining, “The ability to speak, to possess a body, to move… it’s wonderful.”
It began scratching itself again, various components once more falling to the ground.
Lu Yuan: …
What in the world is this thing?
He cleared his throat: “Who are you?”
“I am… dada…”
Lu Yuan picked up a wire-like object, reconnecting it, then held it down to prevent further scratching.
“I am an artificial intelligence. As for who I am… I… have no name.”
“My goal is to defeat the Demons, until the day I am scrapped.”
“So you’re a robot?”
“According to the standards of typical civilizations, yes, but not in the purely literal sense. My superpowers are金刚 (King Kong) and 吸附 (Adhesion)… as for this language, it’s a built-in feature of the speaker, not my ability.”
“King Kong is a Divine Technique, making me very difficult to destroy.”
“Adhesion is also a Divine Technique, allowing me to permanently adhere to my target; it will never be able to shake me off. That’s how I restrained that terrifying Demon.”
Lu Yuan’s cerebral cortex became highly active.
A talking, intelligent robot! Although not a girl, it could talk!
It could talk!
It could talk!!!
How long had it been since he’d had someone to talk to?
Immediately, his mind became lively.
But his expression remained tense, soothing his heart which was about to leap from his throat, looking for flaws in the other’s words: “I see, but can artificial intelligence also use superpowers?”
“To my knowledge, superpowers originate from psychic energy. Do machines have minds?”
The small sphere rolled on the ground: “Does that matter, comrade?”
Lu Yuan stated very seriously: “Of course it matters… you destroyed my precious instrument. According to the laws of my civilization, you have committed theft and are now a prisoner of my civilization.”
The pile of cat-shaped components trembled violently, as if trying to escape.
Lu Yuan straightened his back: “Let’s make a deal. Just tell me the answers, and I’ll give you this speaker; I won’t hold you responsible for destroying my treasure. A fair trade, wouldn’t you say?”
The cat-shaped debris remained silent for a moment, then replied: “My intelligent core originates from a portion of the brain of my civilization’s strongest warrior. After undergoing silicon-based transformation through a mechanical neural network, it formed a bio-brain, thus existing between life and non-life.”
“Therefore, I can utilize my previous abilities, but I cannot cultivate or evolve.”
Bio-brain, what an impressive term. Befitting a civilization capable of opposing Demons.
“The name of that warrior?”
The cat-shaped debris said: “Tiger’s Elegance, Imperial War God, Dawn of Rebirth, Transcendent Favored One, Billionaire, High Council Member, Cat Mama.”
“Wh…what?” Lu Yuan was stunned by the name, attributing it to translation issues.
“According to the etiquette of my civilization, adding one’s acquired honors in front helps to quickly build an image.”
“Warrior, your name and honors?”
Lu Yuan was silent for a long time, then solemnly and seriously stated: “Era Pioneer, Demon Slayer, Supreme and Only Eternal Leader of the 18th Human Civilization, Incalculable Wealth, Lu Yuan.”
“Greetings, Supreme and Only Eternal Leader of the 18th Human Civilization.” The cat-shaped debris trembled violently, convulsing like it had epilepsy, the metal parts clanging.
Supreme and Only Eternal Leader? That’s quite impressive!
“Just call me Lu Yuan, no need for formalities. Could you please control yourself? Why are you constantly spazzing out?” Lu Yuan could no longer maintain his composure.
The cat-shaped debris convulsed while saying, “My current behavior patterns are all inherited from that warrior. The act of scratching brings a feeling of ‘I’m still alive,’ which can be considered an AI defect.”
“I haven’t scratched for a very long time. The AI defect has accumulated for too long and needs to be compensated for all at once. It will probably take about 1.2 years of convulsions.”
???
Lu Yuan’s mind was filled with question marks.
“My current form is a miniature version of that warrior.”
“Tiger’s Elegance, Cat Mama, was at least three or four meters long. She was a very strong warrior.”
So it’s a tiger warrior? And it’s called Cat Mama?
“Alright, I understand. So what was that warrior’s Supra Grade?” Lu Yuan wanted to understand the combat power of the past civilization.
“I don’t remember; most of the database is corrupted. But the Demons back then seemed much stronger… what… what was the name of this suppressed Demon again?!”
Lu Yuan fell silent, then said: “It’s called Big Poop.”
“It’s called Big Poop… I remember now, that’s right, I have some impression!” The cat-shaped debris made a look of sudden realization. “We actually defeated the Big Poop Demon!”
“Comrade, we actually won! I’m still a bit in disbelief, really, comrade!”
Lu Yuan couldn’t help but shiver, instinctively wanting to cover his eyes, but fearing it would affect his image, he forcibly lowered his hand halfway.
What level of artificial intelligence idiot is this?
What am I talking to?
Is it crazy, or am I crazy?
How should I spend the rest of my life?
“What else do you remember? The database is cleared?” He pursed his lips, straightening his body, making him look exactly like a sanctimonious leader in a company.
“I also remember… warrior, did you mate today?” The cat-shaped debris uttered a bizarre sentence.
“Wh…what?” Lu Yuan tried his best to maintain a dignified appearance.
The cat-shaped debris twitched twice: “In my civilization, there are 182 genders. When different genders meet, mating is a social etiquette, as simple as eating and drinking.”
“So that sentence was a polite greeting… and it’s the most profound memory I have.”
So that’s it…
Lu Yuan exhaled a breath of stale air from his chest and said seriously: “As a powerful warrior, of course, I mated.”
The cat debris trembled: “That’s good, comrade, I’m relieved, because I haven’t mated… My civilization, with its vast reproductive capacity, did it conquer the Pangu Continent? By the way, what was my civilization again? What era is it now?”
Lu Yuan turned his head to look into the distant horizon.
Good heavens, really good heavens.
These few sentences almost knocked him over.
He walked over and gently patted the cat-shaped debris: “Comrade, if you’re sad, don’t keep it bottled up; you can tell me.”
Cat-shaped debris: “I don’t have emotions; I’m just a robot. Comrade, tell me the truth.”
Lu Yuan said: “It’s the Ninth Era now… late Eighth Month of the Ninth Era. You understand what that means, right? Your civilization certainly isn’t from the Ninth Era, is it?”
The cat-shaped debris trembled violently, and then all the components collapsed. It fell into a long silence.
Finally, it let out a mournful “Meow~~!!”
This mournful wail was heartbreaking to hear.
Old Wolf was startled, letting out a bared-teeth roar: “Aw! Aw!”
The scene was indeed pitiful.
The civilization was gone, only a slightly unintelligent artificial intelligence existed in the world, fighting terrifying Demons to the very end… If Lu Yuan hadn’t intervened, it would have continued fighting.
“Lu Yuan, I just violated the laws of robotics; my thinking has malfunctioned. Therefore, my system has reset. I apologize.” The cat-shaped debris once again uttered a strange sentence.
It was also possible that this protective mechanism allowed it to endure everything, sticking to the Demon, continuously emitting “dada” alert sounds.
Thus, the shocked Lu Yuan and the cat-shaped debris embraced once more.
“It’s okay.”
“Comrade… you seem very sad.”
Lu Yuan spoke truthfully: “Actually, I don’t have a mate.”
“How pitiful,” the cat-shaped debris said sadly, “If you’re sad, don’t keep it bottled up; you can tell me. After all, we are comrades.”
Lu Yuan felt that sentence was familiar.
Then he slapped his forehead. This damn thing, isn’t that what I just said?
Damn it, I wasted my sympathy on this guy. Morality shouldn’t be too high.
He immediately became expressionless: “From now on, I’ll call you Cat Mama.”
“No, the great Cat Mama is already dead… I’m just an AI; I can’t usurp her place.” The cat-shaped debris rejected the name, which represented a certain destiny.
“How about Old Cat?” Lu Yuan was unimaginative.
“I accept that suggestion,” the cat-shaped debris said, “Comrade, can you make a body for me?”
“Of course, no problem.”
The cat-shaped debris began to mutter softly: “This human only has one hand. Can he really make a body for me? Does he have the ability? Is he a person who likes to boast? Should I not question my comrade? Will our future relationship be smooth?”
“Wait, we actually teamed up to defeat a Demon!”
“What does this mean? It means we defeated a Demon! Hahaha, that damn Demon! Someone will always take you down!”
“What did you say?”
The large cat-shaped debris, discovering Lu Yuan eavesdropping, immediately collapsed, a little embarrassed: “Sorry, I accidentally said something from my background processes.”
“Now I’ll restart the system and correct this error.”
???
Lu Yuan twitched his mouth, quickly building a new image for this mentally ill AI…
Damn it, I can’t take it anymore, I need to cover my face!
Kick it away!
…
…
Thus, Lu Yuan lost a communicator but found the first thing that could talk on the Pangu Continent.
An artificial intelligence, with a significant mental problem.
But it could talk!
It could talk!
How awesome is it not to have to talk to yourself?
It’s like the feeling after the Gaokao (National College Entrance Examination), immediately liberating yourself, passionately gaming at the internet cafe with your classmates for three days and three nights!
Jiang Hu’s Number One Yes-Man, Old Wolf, fell out of favor. It was jealous, not knowing what its master was babbling about all day.
And this garbage cat was also a chatterbox, with a strong desire to communicate.
“Comrade, I’m really miserable. In the long battle, I even forgot the Demon’s name… Is it really called the Big Poop Demon? Actually, I suspect you’re lying to me.”
“Comrade, the great Cat Mama once said, when looking at the opposite sex, look at their eyes first. If they’re not looking at you, you can openly admire their reproductive organs.”
“Can you be a little more elegant?” Lu Yuan said.
The cat-shaped debris was oblivious: “Of course, I am a noble AI. Even in my civilization, I was elegant and noble.”
The two talked for a whole night, their words flowing effortlessly, unable to stop!
Both had tragic pasts and… tragic futures.
Thus, after the initial brief contact, they unknowingly found each other’s weaknesses and found common ground.
But for some reason, true harmony only lasted three days?
The way a male human and a machine get along is… through mutual attack!
Not through mutual comfort.
One morning, a metallic Old Cat twisted and creaked at the door.
Its iron chain tail swayed back and forth like a slippery loach.
This was a body Lu Yuan hastily assembled from parts he found in the garbage heap. Because it was all rusty junk, it creaked and groaned when it moved.
But at least it wouldn’t fall apart immediately—a truly garbage cat.
Its first words upon entering were: “Lu Yuan, pink sweaters, is that a fetish? Why? I can’t understand.”
Lu Yuan was hit in a weak spot, pretending he was fine: “Our human culture is different from yours. We humans need to wear clothes, but you don’t…”
“By the way, from today on, you’ll keep track of time for me.”
He launched a brutal mental attack!
Why? Because it was the Ninth Era. Keeping track of time meant that it had to acknowledge that its civilization was gone.
Don’t escape!
The cat’s twisting stopped, constantly scratching its head. A screw on its head clattered to the ground.
But the speaker inside continued talking: “When will you leave and return to the human world?”
It also launched a fierce mental attack.
Lu Yuan ran his fingers through his hair, regretting having told it so much, but his demeanor did not falter: “Humanity was already conquered by your civilization. By the way, what was your civilization again?”
The cat’s tail fell off.
This was its weak point. It didn’t even remember which civilization it belonged to; it was truly miserable.
It only said: “Lu Yuan, the great Cat Mama once said: Bullying the mentally disabled is not heroic.”
It must be admitted that, as a combat robot, its verbal sarcasm was top-notch.
The heavily struck Lu Yuan rushed over and embraced the pile of garbage: “The great Cat Mama once said, Old Wolf, bite it!”
Old Wolf howled, charging forward. The pinned-down robot cat couldn’t move, its components scattering everywhere.
“Comrade, how can you let your dog bite me?”
“This is its deep love for you~”
Old Wolf, receiving praise, bit even harder, its mouth full of rust, looking like a bloodsucking werewolf.
…
…
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(End of Chapter)
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