What Bad Thoughts Can Batman Have 62

## Chapter 62: Planning

To be frank, this was Penguin’s first visit to the Batcave.

Most of the time in the past, his interactions with Batman happened in two steps:

1. **Batman would barge into his office, beat him into unconsciousness without a word.** The process was incredibly brutal, the methods incredibly cruel, making his underlings, who witnessed everything, extremely afraid.

2. **After Penguin woke up, he would usually find himself tied up at the Gotham City Police Department, with a file bag beside him filled with criminal evidence Batman had collected.**

This is not to say that he hadn’t been thrown into the Batcave for temporary detention, and then entered the second step, during Batman’s 10-plus years as a hero; however, most of the time, he was either beaten black and blue or in a state of shock, naturally he wouldn’t have the mood or opportunity to examine the furnishings of the cave…

Damn it, once he recalled the past, how come this damned Batcave suddenly seemed a bit eerie.

Penguin gripped the umbrella in his hand, his weapon, which contained deadly mechanisms and poison, and could even be used as a machine gun.

—But when facing Batman, it mainly served as psychological comfort.

Precisely because of this, when Batman kindly invited him to visit the Batcave half an hour ago, he readily agreed.

Even though he had to be blindfolded and earmuffed, then swung like a yo-yo by Batman through skyscrapers like Tarzan, this was the first time he entered the Batcave while conscious, wasn’t it?

“What are you dawdling for, Oswald?” Penguin turned his head, seeing Batman’s ghostly figure beside him.

“…”

Hiss… did Batman just materialize from the shadows?

As if… as if his body was made of black fine sand… Am I mistaken?

Batman’s expression was a bit strange, as if he was enduring some kind of pain.

He reached out and patted Penguin’s shoulder, Penguin confirmed it was a human hand, which reassured him slightly.

“Let’s go.”

Penguin moved forward nervously. What did Batman want from him?

Wouldn’t he be interrogated later?

As he walked, a scene began to form in Penguin’s mind: he was stripped naked and bound to a cross by Batman, with dozens of bloody welts on his fat belly from Batman’s whip.

Batman grabbed his hair with one hand and dripped wax onto his stomach with a candle, shouting “Talk or not,” while he was gagged and couldn’t utter a word…

Thinking of this, he couldn’t help but shiver.

“Why aren’t you moving?”

“I-I’m sorry!!!”

“?”

They turned a dark corridor, the grotesque giant dinosaur and the azure Batcomputer finally appeared before Penguin.

He widened his eyes and saw the person standing before the computer…

That person, she was…

“Harley Quinn? How is it you?!” Penguin almost bit his tongue: “How are you in the Batcave?”

He looked around.

“Poison Ivy? Killer Croc? And you, I remember you, you’re Deadshot… Cheshire Cat, a famous new mercenary…”

His gaze turned towards the ventriloquist squatting by the side trying to disguise himself as a dog: “Arnold?”

“Hey, it’s Oswald! Oh—you wrinkled little prickly pear, how’s your evening going?”

Harley cheerfully flipped a somersault on Batman’s chair:

“Whatever your evening’s like, mine’s been absolutely awesome!”

She climbed upside down onto the Batcomputer’s control panel, then took out a tape recorder, pressed a button, and immediately the tape recorder played what was clearly a spliced audio of Batman:

“I, Batman, am going to do it with a bat!”

Harley said: “Try this one!”

She pressed the tape recorder twice.

“Bat → Computer immediately obeys → Harley’s → orders!”

Nothing happened.

Penguin watched as a strange man wearing a candle-shaped head covering came with a tray of food, using an odd British accent to say:

“I’m afraid I have to remind you, Ms. Quinn, if you want to issue voice commands to the Batcomputer, you have to say ‘Hey, Batcomputer!'”

“I can’t take it anymore.”

Poison Ivy slapped her forehead.

She manipulated green plants to lift Harley Quinn, who was saying “Thank you candlehead but I want pizza” while stuffing sandwiches into her mouth, and threw her next to Killer Croc, who was stuffing his face with a large feast:

“Enough, Harley! Maybe enough beef and roast pig will shut your mouth.”

“You wanna eat a cow leg?” Killer Croc said.

Penguin felt the world had gone mad today.

“Oh right, Batman, I forgot to tell you, the Welder has been missing ever since he massacred the swamp last time, I haven’t found him yet.”

Penguin saw Robin slide over on a sliding chair: “But it’s not a big deal anyway, right?”

He held a large piece of roast chicken in his hand, took a bite, then kicked his feet off the ground and slid away.

The ventriloquist squatted beside him, a bowl of roast meat in front of him on the ground.

Deadshot sat at another makeshift table, elegantly enjoying a western meal. Seeing Penguin’s gaze sweep over, he even raised his glass in a toast.

“How… that…” Penguin opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but what he wanted to say got stuck in his throat.

“Relax, Oswald… we have some important things to discuss.”

Bruce Wayne handed him a glass of champagne: “Care for a drink?”

Penguin took it in a daze.

Bruce organized his words: “Well, the main reason I called you here is to hope you can help sell out Scarecrow.”

“…”

“Impossible!” Penguin’s slightly muddled brain instantly became clear.

He said: “Don’t you know about my relationship with Scarecrow?”

“He’s my beloved friend, my brother-in-arms!”

The fat dwarf said with righteous indignation: “How could I betray him?”

Killer Croc looked at the scene with interest.

Three minutes later.

“Your bank card has been credited—five—hundred—million.”

Penguin glanced nonchalantly at the bank transfer text message, he coughed nonchalantly.

“I can help you trick Scarecrow.”

Penguin reasoned: “But the problem is, Scarecrow is not a fool, nor is he a subordinate I can summon at will.”

“Batman, why do you believe I can trick Scarecrow into coming out quietly?”

He said: “After all, Clein is a cunning madman, there is no legitimate reason to go find him, it will only scare him away.”

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