What Bad Thoughts Can Batman Have 79

## Chapter 79: Promise

“?”

Tim stared blankly.

Who am I?

Where am I?

Is this really the Batcave?

Tim fell into deep thought.

A violent mental storm raged in his mind, the mysteries of the Big Bang replaying themselves in his mere 1.4 kg human brain in those few short seconds. Tim felt a puff of steam erupt from his head.

Bruce Wayne awkwardly pulled him aside.

“This is a necessary method, like inescapable social obligations.”

He explained:

“Baso Caro (Mud-faced Person’s real name) is a complete and utter performative personality. I’m not sure if you fully understand his nature.”

“I’m aware, Batman. I fully understand your decision, I’m fine.” Tim took two deep breaths, barely regaining his composure: “Remember the first time we faced him?”

“He pretended to be vulnerable to electricity, then staged a vivid death. Before that, he disguised himself as all sorts of people in Gotham…”

Bruce continued: “Exactly, another kind of madness that can’t be reasoned with. Baso Caro has no purpose, his only purpose is to play roles. And his super-powered ability to shapeshift makes him the best actor in the world.”

He continued in a low voice: “Under that shell, his life is empty. After that accident, the person Baso Caro disappeared, leaving only a shell driven by a shattered self, chasing pure performance.”

“An upper-class gentleman, a street sweeper, a woman, a man, a child sucking on a lollipop, a school teacher, a doctor, whatever role Baso Caro finds challenging, he will start playing those people for a while…”

“He’ll beat the original owner up and dump them in a messy, remote place far from Gotham, then take their place, until the real person comes back.”

Bruce said: “He’s chasing an acting career, so I’ll just give him a challenging enough script.”

Tim looked at him. In his large hand was a small performance booklet. Tim glanced down and saw it read:

“From Arkham to the Batcave: On How to Become Batman’s Favorite Robin”

The subtitle below read:

Baso Caro’s Youthful All-Out Robin Diary, A Just Life Needs No Explanation!

The back read:

How is Batman’s favorite Robin forged?

What super rules must you follow to become Robin?

How to gain Batman’s favor and be seen as his only one?

The answers are all in this book, everyone can be Robin, just read this masterpiece!

“…”

Tim felt like he should be angry. He had every reason to be angry.

But strangely, the anger was suppressed by something else and didn’t surface at all.

His eyes flicked towards the book.

This book was written by Batman.

I really don’t want to know what’s in it!!!

“Did you write this book beforehand?”

“Yes, I did.” Bruce replied, still immersed in his plan to manipulate Mud-faced Person through various underhanded methods:

“I wrote it before, when I went to deal with the Ventriloquist, I thought about how to manipulate Mud-faced Person… For these mentally ill lunatics, the essence of the core manipulation strategy is different, but the same line of thinking.”

He added:

“This book is specifically written for Baso Caro’s weaknesses, everything in it is what Robin would do…”

Tim had no mood to listen to Bruce continue.

“You have to show me this booklet later.” He said with a serious expression:

“I have to give it a serious critique.”

Bruce didn’t understand what he was thinking, so he nodded: “Okay. I’ll show you on the Batcomputer later.”

“Me too! Me too!” Harley Quinn raised her hand excitedly: “Give me one too!”

She struck a boxing stance, laughing twice: “The first female Robin in history, Harley Quinn’s Robin Diary, coming soon, a grand serialization!”

Silence.

Poison Ivy, her best friend, pulled on Harley Quinn’s sleeve under Tim’s murderous gaze.

“What are you doing? I want to – *呜呜呜呜*!”

Before Harley Quinn could finish, Poison Ivy used a bunch of plants to cover her mouth. She smiled apologetically at Tim, making a “you continue” gesture.

Bruce ignored their little interactions and gave the Batcomputer a few short commands. Then, dozens of hidden, retractable, transparent glass cages rose from the ground in the Batcave’s main hall.

He called Killer Croc, the Ventriloquist, and Harley, asking them to stuff the chip-controlled villains into the cages one by one.

While they were working, he made a video call to Alfred:

“Batman calling Pennyworth. How long until the Talon Assassins are transported back?”

“About half an hour.”

Alfred on the screen pulled a joystick. The Batplane’s robotic arm picked up a bunch of twitching, dismembered, unlucky Talons, as if grabbing prizes at a claw machine: “There are too many, I have to keep grabbing.”

The old butler exclaimed: “I can’t believe I’m going to have to put them all back together! It’s been over 60 years since I last played with jigsaw puzzles since I was 4 years old. And now I’m putting together hundreds of incomplete limbs.”

“…”

“Thank you,” said Bruce.

“No problem, that’s my job, sir.” Alfred shook his head, then said: “They can help you, can’t they? These Talons can all be your strength, helping you fight Bane, even if it’s just to drain a little of his stamina.”

He said: “They can keep you from getting hurt again, right?”

“Yes.” Bruce replied: “The Talons are indeed a force to be reckoned with, they’re very useful.”

“Then what I’ve done is meaningful.” Alfred said: “About that four days later… Promise me, you’ll come back safely, okay?”

Bruce was silent for a moment.

Alfred wasn’t the kind of person to emphasize what he had done repeatedly once he had done it, but today he was out of character. He knew what Bruce was thinking –

The old butler just wanted to hold on to his poor little Bruce with his devotion.

This old man just stubbornly wanted a promise, a promise of safe return… Whether or not this promise could be fulfilled was not something he could decide.

He just wanted the promise.

“I will,” Bruce assured him: “We agreed to retire, remember? I promised you. We’ll go to Fiji, or the Hawaiian Islands, or Metropolis… Somewhere no one knows us, after everything in Gotham is over.”

“I will retire with you.” Batman made his promise: “I will return safely.”

“I have a lot of Arkham Asylum villains now, they’ll go up first.”

Bruce said: “With them draining Bane’s energy, I won’t lose.”

Alfred lowered his head slightly, making it hard to see his expression, then in the next moment, he broke into a bright, clear smile like the sky.

“Good.”

“We agreed, Bruce… Keep your promise!”

“Good.”

They hung up the communication.

Bruce took a deep breath, stood up and walked into one of the transparent cages.

He snapped his fingers and the prisoner in the cage was instantly freed from the chip’s control.

“Harvey Dent, Two-Face, old friend.” Bruce said: “I need your help.”

“Don’t even think about it, I Two-Face would rather die of boredom, die in Arkham and jump from here, than help Batman in any way!”

Bruce narrowed his eyes.

“You don’t have a choice. *桀桀桀*…”

Thank you for all the rewards, wow～

(End of chapter)

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