## Chapter 220: Arthur’s Utilitarianism
The second-floor box at the Coburg Theatre was spacious, adorned with mahogany cabinets, plush sofas, and a commanding view, but Arthur couldn’t help but feel a headache brewing.
He had explicitly instructed the theatre staff that he needed a discreet room, one that wouldn’t attract too much attention. But…
Arthur caught a glimpse of the exquisite four-poster bed in the center of the room, and he realized the staff had clearly misunderstood his request.
Their understanding of the word “discreet” was clearly different.
However, having a box was better than nothing. Plus, the concert was about to begin, and changing locations at this late hour was impossible.
“When in Rome, do as the Romans do,” he thought. “A living man can’t be held hostage by a full bladder.”
Arthur looked around, eventually deciding to shove Alexandre Dumas under the bed.
“Alexandre, just bear with it. This concert will only last three or four hours. You can take a nap down there.”
Of course, Dumas was vehemently against this decision, but his hands and feet were bound, and his mouth was gagged.
Arthur apologized, “I know this is wrong, but it’s the safest option. If you have any objections, now is the time to speak. If you don’t say anything, I’ll assume you agree.”
With that, Arthur and Tom shoved the troublesome French fat man under the bed.
Having restored order to the room, Arthur finally had time to light his pipe. He took a long drag and exhaled a cloud of smoke.
Tom, wearing white gloves, carefully reviewed today’s action plan. He frowned as he scrutinized the “Plan A, B, C, and D.”
“It’s great that we have so many options, but… is it really necessary to be so detailed? You’re practically writing laws like Parliament.”
Arthur chuckled as he smoked. “In this age, we might not need to go to such lengths when dealing with ordinary people. But our opponent today is François Vidocq. Half of Scotland Yard’s crime investigation regulations are based on the French ‘Police Management Regulations of the Prefecture of Police of Paris,’ and more than half of those regulations were devised by Mr. Vidocq himself. Facing someone like him, we need to be cautious.”
“Huh?” Tom was intrigued. “He helped write police management regulations? Which of our regulations are related to him?”
Arthur just grinned. “It’s a pity Tony isn’t here today, otherwise, he might get his revenge.”
“What do you mean?”
Arthur laughed. “Tony hates those prohibitions, almost all of which were set by Mr. Vidocq. For example: police officers cannot befriend shady individuals, they cannot gamble, they cannot be in debt, they cannot be unkempt, they cannot drink excessively… Basically, eight out of ten prohibitions in Scotland Yard are related to Mr. Vidocq. The remaining two or three were derived from his work. Imagine if Tony knew this, wouldn’t he want to have a fistfight with Mr. Vidocq?”
Tom couldn’t help but laugh. “So those ridiculous rules were all his doing? Seems like the Parisian police don’t have it easy either.”
Arthur chuckled. “Every dog has its day. If he dares to come today, Tom, you know what to do. Two good punches wouldn’t hurt. Mr. Vidocq is a renowned figure, but he’s just the head of the Security Department of the Prefecture of Police of Paris. In terms of authority, he’s on the same level as me. Most importantly, he has no jurisdiction over you.
Of course, don’t kill him outright. Technically, he’s part of the French diplomatic delegation, and if a murder happens, we’ll have a hard time explaining it to the higher-ups.”
Tom, relieved, smiled. “Don’t worry, I know my limits. But this chance to beat up a high-ranking police officer doesn’t come often. Last time I and Tony ambushed Inspector Willox, I didn’t time it right. This time, I won’t let the opportunity slip through my fingers again.”
Then, Tom asked, “By the way, what are Mr. Vidocq’s identifying features?”
Arthur thought for a moment and shrugged. “That’s the tricky part. Mr. Vidocq excels at disguises. From poor to rich, from a young man in his twenties to an old man in his sixties, he’s been known to disguise himself. Besides the typical French charm, he also has an exceptional memory and a cunning personality.”
Tom joked, “Arthur, you’re making Mr. Vidocq sound like the Napoleon of the police force.”
Arthur teased back, “In Paris, some people actually call him that.”
Tom laughed. “Then you’re the Wellington of Scotland Yard?”
“Our current situation is far more unfavorable than Waterloo,” Arthur quipped. “The Duke at least had the support of the Germans, but we’re relying on ourselves to defend actively.”
As Arthur finished his sentence, there was a knock at the door.
Arthur frowned, gesturing to Tom. He made sure his trusted subordinate was hidden before slowly opening the door.
He held the door handle with one hand, the other resting on the billy club tucked into his belt.
The door creaked open, but the face that greeted Arthur was a disappointment.
It was Eldred, his face flushed red, looking so excited he seemed about to explode and travel from London to Liverpool by rail.
“Arthur, I knew you’d be here!”
Arthur looked out into the hallway, confirming no one was following, before dragging him into the room.
Closing the door, he asked, “Damn it, Eldred, didn’t I tell you not to come looking for me before the performance ends?”
Eldred clutched his heart, which was pounding like a drum. “Arthur, if it were anything else, you could tell me to stay away for a year, and I’d do it. But this, I have to share with you, my best friend.”
Arthur raised an eyebrow. “What? Did you win the lottery on the horses this afternoon?”
Eldred waved his hand dismissively. “No, the horse I bet on this afternoon came in dead last.”
Arthur offered a congratulatory, “Congratulations.”
“Arthur! I told you, it’s not about that!”
Eldred’s face was practically beaming. “Forget it, I’m in a good mood today, I won’t argue with you. You know what? I might have found true love. I just snagged a girl, you wouldn’t believe how stunning she is. She’s five feet nine inches tall, has a flawless oval face, and long, golden blonde hair. My God! There aren’t many girls like her in London, and I just happened to find her.”
Arthur just took a puff of his pipe. “Eldred, although we’re best friends, and the girl sounds amazing, from a Catholic, Protestant, or even a traditional British moral standpoint, you don’t need to share this with me.”
“What are you thinking about?!” Eldred glared. “Arthur, I wouldn’t mind you knowing about other things, but if you have any designs on her, don’t blame me for not considering you a brother.”
Eldred then peered over Arthur’s shoulder. “Where’s Alexandre? I want to rub this in his face.”
“Alexandre?” Arthur pretended to be confused. “I don’t know, I thought he was with you.”
Eldred just muttered, “He’s probably out gallivanting somewhere again. But I’m definitely going to have a better night than him. By the way, Arthur, you don’t need to wait for me to go home tonight. I have some things to take care of.”
Arthur scratched his temple. “What about tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow night?” Eldred proudly adjusted his collar and turned to leave. “Tomorrow night, I might be moving out of your house.”
“Alright,” Arthur said, watching Eldred’s excited expression, he wanted to say something, but out of friendship, he politely reminded him, “Eldred.”
“What?” Eldred stopped and turned back, grinning. “Arthur, don’t be jealous. You’re not bad looking yourself. If you really wanted to, you could definitely do better than me.”
Arthur just raised his hand to stop him. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Huh?”
Arthur calmly exhaled a smoke ring. “If you haven’t returned in three days, I’ll report you missing.”
“Go to hell,” Eldred laughed, then strutted down the stairs, his head held high, like a Thames swan under royal protection.
As soon as Eldred left, Dumas’ head popped out from under the bed. The fat man protested, “Are you sure you’re not going to keep an eye on that idiot Eldred? I have a feeling he might be in more danger than me. He should think about it – what kind of woman, with a brain not quite in working order, could find this guy charming?”
Arthur raised an eyebrow at Dumas, sprawled on the floor. “I agree with you on that point. Women who fall for Eldred are usually quite intelligent, just like Fiona took a liking to you.”
Leaning against the door, his arms crossed, he pondered for a moment, then finally said, “Forget it, let’s not worry about him for now. If Eldred disappears, I can always find him in the Thames. Timewise, there might still be room for recovery.
But Alexandre, if you disappear, I’d have to take a boat to France and fish you out of the Seine. Compared to the two, the difficulty is night and day. Giving up on you to keep an eye on Eldred is neither economical nor practical.
If Eldred really does end up in trouble, I’m sure he’ll understand. As fellow graduates of the University of London, he should understand the concept of utilitarianism.”
(End of Chapter)