## Chapter 245: A Catch of Some Sort (5K2)
**London, Bayswater, 36 Lancaster Gate.**
Arthur sat in his home, two machines resting beside him. One was a wire recorder playing a recording, while the other was a phonograph used for engraving records.
The Red Devil stood behind Arthur, his snow-white fangs, tinged with crimson flesh, almost touching Arthur’s ear. He gently licked his lips, his drool almost dripping onto Arthur’s gleaming epaulets.
“Arthur, what are you hesitant about? Isn’t it better to take this recording directly to Parliament? Why bother with so many backups using the phonograph? You should know that with this recording, the Whigs can completely defeat the Tories in public opinion. You, as their right-hand man, will surely be rewarded with a bone. You’ve climbed to this position now, don’t you want to go higher, to see the most fascinating scenery?”
Arthur glanced at him, simply smoothing the gloves that were stained with too much phonograph wax. “Agareus, is going straight to the top your suggestion? Or are you being deliberate? If you had left yourself a way out in Heaven back then, you wouldn’t have ended up wandering the mortal realm after being kicked out of Hell by Baal, spending your days playing with me.”
Agareus didn’t get angry at this, he simply clasped his hands together and smiled, “Don’t be so harsh, Arthur. I’m doing this for your own good. Why would you give up such a great achievement?”
Arthur just sipped his teacup, “For my own good? It’s been a long time since I heard such a familiar phrase. Well, I appreciate your kindness, Agareus. But you know, humans have a rebellious nature. For your kindness, I can only decline with thanks.”
Agareus asked, “Oh, my dear Arthur, what kind of words are those? What about your ideals, your beliefs? After all you’ve been through, have you still not developed an interest in climbing to the top of this slippery pole of British politics?”
Arthur just smiled, “Agareus, ideals and beliefs are something everyone has. But if, as you say, one day I climb to the top of that slippery pole, I will never dedicate myself to so-called beliefs.”
The Red Devil stroked his chin, questioning, “Then why is that?”
Arthur put down his teacup and said, “It’s simple, because I’m afraid I’m wrong. I have no interest in using the entire British public for scientific experiments. Didn’t we talk about this before? At most, I’ll be a king, not a God. But everyone knows that kings can make mistakes, only God can have absolute correctness. I’m not God, so I can’t always be right, therefore I won’t do experiments. If someone must do experiments, then it’s best if it doesn’t happen under my nose. That’s why I arrested those doctors who illegally used corpses. Those guys didn’t get the consent of the deceased before doing their experiments.”
The Red Devil heard this, just smiled and raised an eyebrow, “Aren’t you very fond of philosophy? Then you should know that there’s a German named Hegel. Are you arguing against his saying, ‘The fear of error is actually the fear of truth’?”
“Hegel?”
Arthur heard this and just shook his head helplessly, “I respect Mr. Hegel, and I wish him a long life. Only then can he see with his own eyes what kind of truth will eventually emerge from the land of Germany. I bet it will be a big surprise. But maybe he’ll like it, after all, he worshipped God when he was young, and then he started worshipping the state when he matured. Do Germans need to worship something in order to survive?
Why doesn’t he write a “State Bible,” add some religious stories, just like the Bible – full of love, peace, beauty, and happiness, a heaven without any pain or trouble, with many beautiful flowers and fragrant trees, and a vast grassland. There is no disease, poverty, or pain to be seen there, and even cries cannot be heard. In the center of the golden streets of the city of Heaven stands a tree of life, bearing abundant fruit throughout the year, the leaves of which heal all nations, there is no need to seek treatment for disease, every disease can be healed.
By the way, he might as well demolish all the churches in Germany and turn them into state churches. I think it’s quite suitable. The only problem now is whether God minds having another god called ‘Rational State’ competing with him. Oh, right, you, the devil, wouldn’t mind, I presume.”
The Red Devil covered his mouth and chuckled, “Oh! Arthur, what a strong attack! But why are you so hostile towards him?”
Arthur didn’t answer directly, but asked instead, “You’re a devil, so you should be clearer than I am. I’ve been wanting to ask you for a long time, will those who suffer in the mortal realm and are devout go to heaven after death?”
Agareus heard this, but just smiled, neither answering yes nor no.
Arthur asked again, “Then will those who do evil in the mortal realm go to hell after death?”
Agareus still smiled silently.
Arthur saw his expression and just shrugged, “I knew it. So what’s the point of setting up these two bloated bureaucratic institutions of heaven and hell? I now seriously doubt that you were laid off by Baal, were you a freelance worker like a Scotland Yard officer before?”
Agareus heard this and immediately became furious, as if someone had stepped on his tail, “Arthur! We’re discussing philosophical issues now!”
Arthur saw his expression and had a rough idea. He reassured him, “But your existence is not without merit, you at least prove one point, the Bible is not fabricated. Speaking of which, worshipping Hegel’s state church is not as good as worshipping you. The stories in the Bible are quite interesting, but that’s all.”
The Red Devil glared with wide eyes, sparks flying from his nostrils for a while before he calmed down and raised a different question, “Arthur, about the matter of heaven and hell, I’ll explain it to you slowly later. But you have to tell me, does it bother you that Germans like to worship something? You’re just a king in Britain, but over there you could be a God!”
Arthur heard this and just took a sip of tea, “Agareus, don’t give me any bad ideas. If I go to Germany, I’m afraid I won’t be able to be God. I’m worried that I’ll be nailed to a cross in Berlin instead. Although Scotland Yard uniforms are of good quality, it’s still too much to be put in a museum as a relic.”
Agareus heard this and just shook his head slightly, then asked, “Then let’s go back to Hegel.”
Arthur replied, “There’s nothing to discuss about Mr. Hegel’s theory. If he’s right, if the state is rational, then what about this recording in front of me?”
Agareus heard this and couldn’t help but grin slightly, revealing a row of sharp white teeth, laughing loudly.
He snapped his fingers and conjured a doctoral hat, placing it on Arthur’s head. He was almost eager to hug Arthur’s head and give it a couple of kisses.
“Oh! My dear Arthur! Professor Agareus must congratulate you, you little rascal has finally graduated! You finally understand what’s going on. Those guys are nothing special, everyone is just digging for food in this trough. Members of Parliament, Cabinet, Prime Minister, everyone is eating their own food, if you haven’t gotten to your hands, it just means their claws haven’t been long enough yet. Since everyone is eating, why don’t you go up and bite off a piece?”
Arthur rested his chin on his hand, “Because things still need to be done with some rules in Britain. This is their two-party thing, it has nothing to do with Scotland Yard, and it shouldn’t be related. This political balance is hard-won, breaking it is bad for everyone. Britain is not Russia, they don’t use stroke as the cause of death here. As the Greeks often say, remember Daedalus’ lesson, avoid Icarus’ fate.
I have no interest in experimenting here. And I haven’t forgotten the instructions Mr. Talleyrand gave me. Barbarism is only two steps away from civilization, it wanders around civilization. As soon as you relax, it will come back. Since there are civilized ways to solve the problem, why should I be a barbarian?
Last but not least, most of those who do intelligence work don’t end well. If I use improper intelligence to strike down the opposition now, how will the Intelligence Bureau stand in the future? The Whigs won’t be happy because they’re gaining ground here, on the contrary, if they ever want to step down, they will definitely disband our little organization the first time. Agareus, you’re a learned devil, you must understand what I mean.”
Agareus heard this and couldn’t help but applaud Arthur.
“Smart, calm, and even starting to understand the world. Arthur, you little rascal is getting more and more presentable. My expectations for you were indeed not wrong. However, have you ever thought about other ways to solve the problem? You should know that every math problem has many solutions, different derivation processes naturally lead to different levels of difficulty in understanding. The method, the method is the key to the key to work, those who just bury their heads and work are blind donkeys. Arthur, I believe you have the ability to seize the opportunity and the artistry to showcase success. Or, you can offer a tiny bit of your soul.”
Arthur was about to pull Agareus aside to chat a little more, but this time the Red Devil didn’t know if he was angry before, or if he was getting smarter.
As soon as he finished speaking, he turned into a wisp of pale dust and disappeared into the wind. Arthur looked up and saw that a layer of thick dust had settled on the windowsill, with a line of words written on it – Rest for two days, extra service requires two extra souls.
Arthur just took out his pocket watch and glanced at it, “Five thirty in the afternoon, that should be considered early dismissal, right? Devils, this kind of freelance work, they really live recklessly.”
As soon as he finished speaking, there was a knock on the door outside.
Arthur stood up and opened the door, without thinking he said, “Alexander…”
But before he finished speaking, his brows furrowed, “Hmm?”
It’s no wonder Arthur was puzzled, because standing outside wasn’t the French fat man who was recently obsessed with reviewing London’s restaurants, nor the suspect who was posting marriage ads all over the place, destroying the cityscape, but a charming lady holding a small parasol.
Fiona retracted her parasol, handing it to her小弟who followed behind, and gracefully curtsied, “Mr. Hastings, why does your expression look so disappointed? That’s so heartbreaking, am I not more pleasing to the eye than that French fat man?”
“That’s not it.” Arthur replied, “I just thought you came all this way, you should have fished him out of the Thames.”
Fiona shook her finger, “No, no, no, Mr. Hastings, you haven’t paid me yet, let him soak in the river for now. Speaking of which, wouldn’t you feel sorry for seeing such a delicate and fragile lady standing outside the door?”
Arthur looked around, then stepped aside, “I don’t have the habit of refusing ladies, but I must state in advance, I don’t offer laudanum here.”
Fiona heard this, just rolled her eyes and softly snorted, “I quit a long time ago.”
“Then coffee?”
“Too bitter.”
“Black tea?”
“Only drink Ceylon.”
“Carbonated water?”
“It makes me burp, ladies don’t consider it.”
Arthur slammed the door shut, “You’re here to pick a fight, aren’t you?”
“Oh! Mr. Hastings, can’t you be more gentlemanly?”
Fiona pretended to be heartbroken, covering her mouth with her lace gloves, and stepped back, finding the most comfortable chair she had chosen and leaning back, “I’ve brought you some incredible news, is this how you treat merit?”
“That’s not it.” Arthur picked up the teapot and made some more tea, “This morning I just gave the bureau’s meritorious a set of small houses, if you’re interested, I can prepare one for you as well.”
But Fiona obviously wasn’t as easily fooled as Whitsun, she clutched her chest and said sadly, “It doesn’t sound like a good thing. Don’t you have more direct rewards? Like… money, for example…”
Arthur put the teapot back on the coffee table and said, “Fiona, don’t gasp for air when you speak, you know what the consequences will be if you play this game with me, like the first time we met, you’ll definitely be the one who suffers in the end.”
Fiona heard this and didn’t believe it, she pulled down her skirt, “Mr. Hastings, are you going to draw your gun again?”
Before she finished speaking, she heard a snap, a flintlock pistol suddenly appeared on the table, Arthur picked up his teacup and nodded slightly, “Smart, you guessed right.”
“Put it away, put it away!”
Fiona was startled, she trembled all over, “Damn it! Where did you learn this, your skills are so agile, why don’t you go fight street boxing? I recently opened a boxing ring in the East End, I’m looking for someone like you who can fight!”
“You came to me just to say this?”
“Of course not!” Fiona said angrily, “You scared me so much I forgot what I was going to say. We caught a foreigner at the docks this afternoon.”
“Oh.” Arthur nodded, “I knew it, Alexander must have fallen into your hands. Wait for him to sober up, then you can let him go, he’s a grown man, he should know the way home.”
Fiona covered her chest with one hand, pressing down on her pounding heart, “It’s not that fat man! It’s another foreigner, an artilleryman!”
“Artilleryman?” Arthur stroked his chin and pondered, “Then it’s still Alexander.”
“He’s the emperor’s relative!”
“The emperor’s relative?” Arthur thought for a moment, “There aren’t many emperors in the world, the Romanovs of Russia? Or the Habsburg-Lorraine of Austria? The Bourbons of Brazil? It can’t be the Aisin Gioro, can it?”
Fiona crossed her arms and nestled into the sofa chair, sulking, “It’s from the former dynasty!”
“The former dynasty?” Arthur thought for a long time, then hesitantly asked, “Zhu? No, there are no crooked trees in London either!”
Fiona rolled her eyes at him, “Mr. Hastings, with your rambling state of mind, you actually tell me you don’t have laudanum hidden in your house? His surname is Bonaparte, the Bonaparte of Napoleon! If you don’t want him, I’ll have him thrown into the Thames and drowned right now. Anyway, he’s a stowaway, he doesn’t even have a passport to enter the country, it’s no big deal if he dies.”
“Bonaparte?” Arthur became interested as soon as he heard the name, “How old is he, and have you figured out where he’s from?”
Fiona disdainfully said, “A young man about your age, but far more understanding. The girls under my command just flattered him a few times, and he confessed everything. He said he originally went to military school in Switzerland, and after graduation, he went to Italy to join the Carbonari uprising in Rome for his lofty ideals, but the uprising was brutally suppressed by the Papal States and the Austrian army. He was wanted in all the countries of the Apennine Peninsula, and in order to return to Switzerland safely, he had to leave by sea, travel through London and return to Switzerland.
He got off the ship from the West India Docks in London this morning, originally planning to have a meal nearby and spend a few days before leaving. But the smell of fat sheep he emitted made my people target him from the beginning. You can probably imagine what happened later, after a classic plot, he was captured. Unfortunately, this kid didn’t have much money on him, we gave him a little bit of a hard time, forcing him to find an acquaintance to raise money, and he ended up spilling the beans about his Bonaparte name.
Originally, everyone didn’t believe it, but he said his uncle lived in London, and he even gave us a copy of his uncle’s address. When we checked, it matched. We wouldn’t dare to make a decision on this matter, so we thought about coming to you…”
Fiona felt less and less confident as she spoke.
Although she said she brought Arthur a surprise, she actually knew very well that this was a hot potato.
A member of the Bonaparte family fell into their hands, they couldn’t let him go, they couldn’t kill him, they could only come to Arthur to smooth things over.
Arthur heard this and understood Fiona’s little thoughts.
He asked, “What’s the full name of that Bonaparte?”
Fiona quickly replied, “Charles-Louis-Napoleon Bonaparte.”
Although Arthur already had a guess in his heart, he couldn’t help but gasp when he heard this, “You actually caught an emperor for me! Who says women are inferior to men, Fiona, you know? Your Cambridgeshire little brothers are almost on par with the Duke of Wellington.”
Fiona was almost desperate when she heard this, she begged bitterly, “Darling, just think of a way, I’ll give you back the hundreds of pounds I took from you before.”
Arthur heard this, thought about it for a moment, and just sighed, “Fine, I’ll take care of it.”
(End of Chapter)