Chapter 28 All Nonsense
In a small tavern by the dock, Arthur and his companions had a few simple dishes in front of them: some stewed fruits, a plate of freshly baked, steaming bread, some heated smoked meat, and a pot of coffee.
Eldred and Darwin briefly exchanged some information about the Beagle, along with a few reminders about upcoming arrangements and itineraries.
It wasn’t long before the three of them veered off into other topics. Their conversation soon grew lively, and they quickly became friends. Friendships among the young often form this swiftly.
Eldred, in his usual straightforward manner, asked, “I heard you come from a family of doctors, with both your father and grandfather being surgeons?”
Darwin sipped his coffee and nodded, “That’s right. Our family has had a clinic in Shrewsbury, Shropshire for fifty or sixty years, and it’s quite well-known locally. My father originally intended for me to take over the family business, which is why he sent me to Edinburgh University to study medicine.”
Arthur tore off a piece of bread, added some smoked meat, and took a bite. As he ate, he asked, “Then why did you end up at Cambridge studying theology? Cambridge is good, but Edinburgh isn’t much worse! David Hume, Adam Smith, Thomas Bayes—they all graduated from Edinburgh. It’s a pity you transferred to Cambridge; otherwise, Edinburgh would have had another famous alumnus.”
Darwin, hearing this, quickly waved his hand. “Arthur, you’re overestimating me. Compared to the people you mentioned, I’m far inferior. I can only look up to them, not compare myself with them.”
Eldred, who had one arm draped over the back of his chair, nodded in agreement. “Exactly! Arthur, what are you saying? Edinburgh is much better than Cambridge! Only a fool would choose Cambridge!”
Darwin was taken aback by this, and Eldred quickly realized his slip of the tongue. He hastily clarified, “Don’t get me wrong; I didn’t mean to insult your alma mater. At least Cambridge is better than Oxford. If you randomly picked ten Oxford graduates and shot them, none would be wronged. With Cambridge, you might accidentally kill one or two good people.”
Arthur joked, “Eldred, you can’t just kill like that. If you used your standard, there’d be few left in Parliament—seven or eight out of ten MPs are Oxbridge graduates.”
Eldred slammed his fist on the table, “Really? That’s great! If they all died, Britain’s future would be bright.”
Darwin asked in confusion, “Why do you have such strong opinions about Oxford and Cambridge?”
Arthur couldn’t help but laugh. “Charles, you can’t blame us. These two schools have always been pushing Parliament not to grant teaching licenses to our school. You might not know this, but even though University College London has been established for four years, it still hasn’t received a royal charter. Look at Eldred, despite having an uncle who’s a major general, he’s still stuck working as a cartographer on a ship. Unless you promote him to admiral right now, his resentment won’t be easily quelled.”
Darwin felt a bit embarrassed. He rubbed the back of his head and said, “Really? I didn’t know it was that complicated.”
Arthur then asked, “By the way, you still haven’t told us why you transferred to Cambridge.”
Darwin replied, “After completing a semester at Edinburgh, I went home to help at the clinic during the holidays, but I couldn’t stand the sight of surgeries. You can’t imagine how harrowing it is to saw off a patient’s necrotic leg. I’ll never forget that scene… ” He shuddered at the memory. “After that surgery, I never wanted to help at the clinic again. I preferred hunting, collecting minerals, and animal and plant specimens, but my father thought these hobbies were pure nonsense. Despite everything, he finally saw that I wasn’t suited for surgery. He thought I was lazy and weak, but my mother believed my aversion to surgery showed I had a kind heart. So, the family decided to send me to Cambridge to study theology. They thought it would correct my thinking and suit my kind nature. Most importantly, they believed being a pastor was a respectable and well-paid job.”
Arthur asked, “So after studying theology, did it correct your thinking?”
“Correct?” Darwin rolled his eyes and waved his hand. “Nonsense! There was nothing wrong with my thinking. I followed their arrangement to study theology, but changing my hobbies? No way! Shortly after arriving at university, I joined the Plinian Society, a group for natural history enthusiasts. Our leader was Professor Robert Grant, a well-known Lamarckian, who mentored me a lot. Later, I had the fortune to join their research group. At Cambridge, I spent all my spare time outside of classes studying natural history. Once, I even went with the research team to the Firth of Forth, where we studied the life cycle of marine animals in the intertidal zone. Afterward, I published a paper in the Plinian Society about a common black object found in oyster shells. You know what? That black object is actually not some mysterious creature but the eggs of a leech.”
Eldred, who had been leisurely swaying on his chair, suddenly turned pale and covered his mouth. “Damn it, Charles, why did you have to tell me that?”
Darwin scratched his head, puzzled. “What’s wrong?”
Arthur laughed and explained, “You don’t know, but Eldred loves oysters, especially those leech eggs in them. He always tells me that those things have a pudding-like texture when chewed.”
Eldred, still covering his mouth, shouted angrily, “Arthur! Stop it! I’m going to throw up!”
Arthur shrugged. “Eldred, I told you to eat less of that stuff; it’s neither clean nor hygienic.” Then, he stood up and called to the waiter, “Do you have oysters here? Make sure to remove the eggs.”
Darwin also tried to comfort him. “Eldred, eating them occasionally is fine. They’re not poisonous.”
But Eldred couldn’t be calmed. He felt nauseous all over. Slumping over the table, he muttered, “It’s not about poison; it’s too disgusting. Charles, only the French can stomach leech eggs—they even eat snails.”
Seeing him in such a state, Arthur didn’t bother teasing him further. Instead, he turned to Darwin and asked, “By the way, you said you’re a follower of Professor Grant, a Lamarckian, but I heard Lamarckians believe in the evolution of species. Yet you’re also a pastor, and pastors usually say humans are God’s creation. How do you reconcile that?”
Darwin put down his bread and made a cross over his chest, then whispered to Arthur, “I am a devout believer. I believe in God.”
“Really?” Arthur looked disappointed.
But Darwin leaned closer and whispered, “But what pastors say is all nonsense!”
(End of this chapter)