## Chapter 14: Running Away Is Shameful, But Effective
*Vroom Vroom*
With the engine’s groan, Chen Tao sped away, directly stuffing Bain’s attempt at a clever retort back down his throat.
For the first time, a look of shock appeared on Bain’s face. His intelligence gathering on Batman had clearly made a major error.
What was that?
He replayed the image that had flashed before his eyes for a split second. How could human feet turn into wheels?
“You-!”
As he realized what was happening, he immediately took off in pursuit, his long legs carrying him forward. He grabbed an earpiece and placed it in his ear.
“Zombie Man! Caveman! Birdman!”
“We’re on it, Bain!” his men responded over the radio channel.
“Plan changed. Everyone, chase after the guy.”
His men: ❓
Bain’s gaze was deep: “I need to figure out what’s going on with Batman.”
Despite carrying four people, Chen Tao, instead of using his legs (or, well, his wheels), took off running. Bain couldn’t even catch up for a moment.
The Batmobile was notorious in its own world for its ability to escape, running away being an inherent skill. Chen Tao tightened his gluteal muscles – his liquid nitrogen jets.
“Holy crap!” Killer Croc stared at Chen Tao’s transformed feet. “Batman, I didn’t know you had this trick up your sleeve.”
“Stop messing around, Deathstroke. Get ready to shoot!”
“…”
My name is Floyd Lawton, 27 years old, and I am Deathstroke.
Right now, I’m being chased by a three-meter tall devil muscle man who just slaughtered my three companions. I have no doubt he could crush me into a pancake with a single punch.
But I’m not the least bit scared because he can’t run as fast as my horse.
“…”
However, there’s still a problem, a very, very important problem.
The horse I’m currently riding, his name… is Batman.
“Aaaaaahhh!” A giant boulder whooshed past Deathstroke’s head, making him involuntarily clench his sphincter.
*Rat-a-tat-tat…*
He pulled out his assault rifle and fired behind him. The recoil and jolting motion caused the flesh on his face to undulate like the waves on Gotham’s river.
Even from such a bumpy platform, his bullets accurately struck the area around Bain’s eyes, forcing him to cover his face with his hand.
“We’re going to die!” he yelled at Batman. “Why can’t you just go and fight Bain?”
Because I can’t win, you idiot.
Chen Tao said: “To protect your safety, I can’t fight Bain while also looking after you.”
Catwoman immediately adopted a cat-like expression of touched emotion, even though her mask concealed her true facial expression.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to…”
Deathstroke shot Catwoman a sideways glance. Do you really believe his lies?
He fell into thought. Batman must have a special reason, but right now he knows so little that he’s completely in the dark.
“Your feet…”
“Shut up, just ride. I’ll figure something out!”
“You…”
Chen Tao’s prostate moved, narrowly dodging a giant rock thrown by Bain. “What now?”
“Look ahead!”
Chen Tao turned his head to see several large buses blocking the road ahead. Some of Bain’s men were standing on top, waiting for them to crash into them.
“So, what’s your plan now?”
Chen Tao gritted his teeth.
…
…
…
“Super Baby” was a newly opened restaurant in Gotham. To attract customers, the waitresses were all dressed as superheroes, looking quite alluring.
Inside the restaurant, two police officers sat by a transparent window, enjoying a hearty breakfast.
“Beep beep beep… Help! The Joker just robbed our bank, you need to…”
The older officer and the younger officer exchanged glances, uncaring, and directly pressed the communicator off.
“Ah, it’s okay, Batman will catch the Joker.”
The younger officer said, “Yeah, anyway, we’d just be cleaning up afterwards. Why bother?”
They looked at each other, finding common ground as shirkers, then laughed heartily…
“…”
“So, are you guys going to keep adding to your order?” The waitress dressed as Harley Quinn asked impatiently.
They added more items to their order, and the older officer continued, “After so many years in Gotham, I’ve almost stopped being surprised by anything.”
“Yeah, the work is never done. You remember when Poison Ivy robbed Star Labs the other day? Gordon was all frantic like something major happened. Now? Hahahaha!”
“Right, anything can happen in Gotham,” the older officer took a swig of beer. “Even if I saw a dinosaur wearing roller skates on the street, I wouldn’t be surprised. But what’s the saying? The sun rises as usual, and Batman will solve everything~.”
The younger officer froze.
“?” The older officer looked at the young officer in confusion.
“Look… look behind you!”
He turned his head and then saw a giant, green Tyrannosaurus Rex, at least six meters tall, walking down the street.
It was wearing a tattered, identical Batman suit, revealing its anthropomorphic muscular arms and legs, adorned with golden spiked armguards. It had a mask on its head – though, on its dinosaur head, it was like wearing no mask at all.
In its left and right hands, it was grabbing some blurry things, apparently several people and a large lizard.
“???”
The chattering, lively atmosphere of the restaurant fell silent. Everyone stared at the scene outside, watching the dinosaur’s tail disappear around the corner.
The two police officers exchanged glances.
“Hahahahahaha—”
“We must be seeing things, how could something like this happen?”
They patted each other on the back, laughing hysterically, then both fell silent.
A loud boom echoed, clearly the sound of a rocket launcher explosion.
The dinosaur ran back, two wheels now attached to its feet, with three men armed with rocket launchers and a muscular man covered in muscles chasing after it.
“Roar!”
The two police officers looked at each other.
“Yaaahhh—”
Bang!
The restaurant’s front door burst open, and a horde of patrons screamed and ran out, a successful escape from paying their bill!
The two police officers ran out of the store, trembling, pulling out their small pistols, watching the green dinosaur run through the street, dodging here and there.
Rocket launchers were flying, bullets were whizzing past, the vehicles parked on the side of the road were hit by the rockets, flipping into the sky in violent explosions. The muscle man jumped, caught the vehicles like shot puts, and threw them at the dinosaur. People on the street were wailing and scattering, chaos reigning wherever the dinosaur passed.
Look at what you’re protecting!
While running away, the green dinosaur wasn’t forgetting to save people. It would snatch up a little girl about to be crushed by a falling street lamp one moment, and then grab a fallen middle-aged man the next. Then, halfway through, it would casually throw them aside, jumping left and right, agile as a big ape. The four people chasing it were furious, but how could they keep up with those legs that could slide 10 meters in one step?
Finally, the giant thing seemed to have been thoroughly provoked by the relentless pursuit of the four, and it actually retaliated, beating up two of the men with rocket launchers. Before those two could escape and the muscle man could reach them, the green dinosaur vanished once more –
It leaped, using the wheels on its feet to push off the wall in mid-air, relying on the force of the rotation to zoom up the wall, then jumped to the roof, shattering a large area of tiles. The four pursuers climbed onto the roof as well, chasing after the dinosaur, quickly disappearing from sight. Only the two police officers remained, looking at each other in astonishment.
Someone was crying out “My car!” Nearby, flames and debris filled the road. A fire hydrant exploded, showering two unsuspecting people who couldn’t dodge in time.
The older police officer sighed, a sense of calmness and tranquility washing over him.
“Okay, what the heck just happened? Was that dinosaur Batman?”
The younger officer replied calmly, “Who cares? Our job is to clean up, honestly, sometimes I feel like I’m just an NPC living in a video game.”
“I feel the same way!” The older officer joked, “If this world is a book, we two guys are probably the kind of extras without even a name.”
“Right, Sean!”
“Right, Boris!”
They patted each other on the back, laughing hysterically, then both fell silent.
“Damn it, gotta get back to work.”
“Yeah, screw this.”
“Wait, anyway, after we clean up, some superhero or villain will go and wreak havoc again, so what’s the difference between cleaning now and later?”
“Hey, you’re right! Let’s go back and eat. I only had half a donut.”
Thus, the two strong-hearted old Gotham stalwarts quickly accepted everything that had happened. They simply wiped the sweat off their brows and went back to finish their breakfast.
(End of Chapter)
Previous Chapter | TOC | Next Chapter