## Chapter 28: Chaotic Brawl
Alfred piloted the Bat-Stealth Jet, hovering above the Slaughter Swamp. He set the plane to autopilot, then poured himself a cup of coffee, his expression bored.
“Beep, beep, beep…”
Hearing the notification, Alfred walked over to the screen, glanced at it, and pressed a button.
Soon, the Bat-Computer transmitted a voice message:
“Herbicide deployed.”
…
“Ugh!”
Plant Master bent over and vomited up a large mass of green, sticky goo. His body was riddled with holes, but it was slowly repairing itself.
“…”
Plant Master wasn’t an idiot. He quickly realized the solution. His body surface quickly condensed, layer upon layer of trees forming a hard, wooden armor around him.
The green herbicide dripped onto his body, unable to corrode the delicate leaves.
“The saltwater herbicide’s effect isn’t powerful enough after all,” Chen Tao sighed.
Unfortunately, he didn’t want to use strong herbicides like acetic acid, cuprous oxide, or glyphosate. If the concentration and amount of these chemicals increased to a certain level, they would inevitably cause fatal damage to the human body, and would also inevitably cause irreversible damage to the environment and water sources.
This area not only had friendly forces, but also Professor Goldblum, who was being controlled by Poison Ivy’s hypnotic kiss. Chen Tao wasn’t some kind of Russian rescue team.
So, Chen Tao shook his head.
“Let’s do it.”
“Yes, Batman.”
The Plant Master, who had just stood up from the ground, clutching his head, turned his head and saw everyone gather around him.
“Heeheehee…”
“Jiejiejiejie…”
“Hehehe…”
Deathstroke had armed himself to the teeth with high-tech weapons.
Cheshire Cat was holding an ultrasonic rocket launcher.
The Lord of Vertigo pointed a finger at his temple and slowly approached.
Miss Vick stood on a tree, holding a Shockwave Gun.
Wait.
On a tree?
In the midst of Vick’s piercing screams as she was pulled up by a vine, the battle began.
“Ouch!”
Poison Ivy slapped Harley Quinn twice, left fist, right fist, then kicked with her left leg. In the next second, she was grabbed by the leg and flipped onto the ground by Harley Quinn, both of them falling into a heap.
Then it was a constant cycle of face-riding, sloppy punches, hair-pulling, and spitting.
Buzz, buzz, buzz…
The Lord of Vertigo stood up straight, his temples pulsating violently. The intense interference waves made Plant Master cover his head. Deathstroke seized the opportunity and blasted him with an ultrasonic rocket, forcing him to kneel and cover his head.
Cheshire Cat threw seven ice grenades in a row, using her speed advantage to freeze half of his body.
Vick raised her Shockwave Gun, and a massive current surged through Plant Master’s body in an instant, causing him to scream.
“Seriously, Pam!” Harley Quinn straddled Poison Ivy, forcefully pushing apart her tightly closed legs and squeezing her neck.
“Your plan is complete crap!”
“Hmm, humans will destroy the world!”
Poison Ivy flipped over and pinned Harley underneath her, hammering her with delicate, pale green fists on Harley’s raised, protective arms.
“I can do other things, though.”
“I don’t know! Vote Democrat or donate to Greenpeace?”
“That’s for saving whales, idiot!”
“Ahhhh! Whatever, anything is better than becoming walking plants!”
Plant Master lay on the ground. Vick, the bravest of them all, rushed to his side and started kicking and punching him. Deathstroke stood nearby, constantly unloading his ammo on the green behemoth, as if he wanted to unleash all his pent-up frustrations, his confusion about the future, and his fear.
Cheshire Cat held a knife, trying to cut Plant Master’s neck. The woman wearing the cat mask was working tirelessly, like an old farmer swinging a hoe, expectantly digging her own land.
Vick was… umm, sawing his legs off.
“This time, I’m going to collect wooden man’s **bleep**!”
What’s so good about collecting that stuff!
“…”
Can anyone tell me where she got the saw?
Poison Ivy lay on Harley’s back, both of them tangled and fighting. Harley slammed Poison Ivy against a tree, then pinned her to the trunk and punched her repeatedly.
Poison Ivy dodged, slipping through Harley’s arms, and landed a punch to her chest.
“Aaawwww!”
Harley Quinn clutched her chest, then slammed a punch into Poison Ivy’s chest.
“Aaawwww!”
Poison Ivy clutched her chest, then kicked Harley in the groin. Harley grabbed Poison Ivy’s hair, and the other woman stomped on her toes.
Harley returned with an uppercut, then they both punched simultaneously, landing a blow on each other’s face.
“Aaah~ Waaah~ Ooh!”
The Welding Dog Hero attacked. His fighting style was simple: charge forward and weld the dead dog on his hand to his opponent’s face.
?
His actions in broad daylight stunned everyone else’s perversions.
The welding torch on his left hand lit up, and in a matter of seconds, the golden retriever on his hand was welded directly onto Plant Master’s face.
“Woof!”
The dog welded to the enemy’s face said: “Woof woof? Woof woof woof woof woof!”
“Get the hell away!”
Plant Master scrambled to his feet, his face contorted: “You bastards, you don’t understand the power of the green!”
“You’re just a fool, Harley, we could have changed the world—”
Poison Ivy rolled, picked up a broken tree branch from the ground: “But you’re too stupid to understand!”
She swung the branch at Harley, but was soon grabbed by the arm and thrown over her shoulder.
Harley snatched the stick:
“Oh yeah? I’m smart enough to beat your ass—”
She twirled the stick around with a flourish.
Poison Ivy stood up irritably and snapped her fingers.
Wugugug…
The wooden stick in Harley Quinn’s hand transformed into a wooden snake, its huge mouth opening to reveal a set of sharp wooden teeth. Harley screamed and tossed the stick away.
“No, that’s cool!”
Said Poison Ivy.
“That’s not fair!” Harley cried out.
“Enough!”
Plant Master suddenly broke free from the ground. He pushed past Vick’s resistance, gasping for breath.
He said:
“I didn’t want to use this. You forced me.”
Then he pulled out a piece of plant tuber from his pocket and stuffed it in his mouth.
“Ugh!”
He complained loudly: “This is so nasty!”
(End of Chapter)
**Note:** I tried to retain the style and tone of the Chinese web novel, including the slang, repetitive phrases, and occasional use of “bleep” for censorship. I also provided a brief explanation of the idiom “jie jie jie” in parentheses, which is a common villainous laugh in Chinese fiction and film.
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