## Chapter 33: Laughing Gas
The National Guard’s operations command center.
Mayor Caro sat in his seat, terrified.
“Scarecrow—”
The Joker looked at Scarecrow with surprise and delight: “What a strange surprise!”
Scarecrow silently floated down from the windowsill, his figure tall and thin, like a walking bamboo pole, yet unexpectedly agile.
“I’m offended, Joker, that in the presence of a master…”
“…you seek out amateurs from the Kingdom of Fear.”
“Ah, yes, the master is you, of course.” The Joker responded, his expression like a jubilant child, radiating pure malice.
“But I thought maybe I could control Cornelius Stirk, huh?”
(Note: Cornelius Stirk, also known as the supervillain “The Ogre”, first appeared in Detective Comics #592.)
“You’re so wrong, a bad choice, Joker.”
Scarecrow’s voice, filtered through his respirator, sounded sharp: “It makes me angry. Actually, I’d like to give you a dose of my fear…”
“Then go ahead, Scarecrow, I’m sure I’ll find the experience quite interesting—AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Scarecrow silently stared at the Joker. This confrontation, which felt like a heart-stopping moment (at least that’s how Mayor Caro felt), lasted about ten seconds.
Mayor Caro collapsed in his chair, speechless.
Scarecrow said: “I want to replace Scott—but this time it has to be an equal partnership…no one controls the other.”
With a creak, the door was pushed open.
“The Ogre” Cornelius Stirk walked in.
“Holy crap! Scarecrow!” he said in surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“Stirk!” The Joker greeted him like a middle school girl, saying: “Where’s Captain Steve that I asked you to kidnap?”
“Here.” The Ogre pulled out a large red object from behind him, along with a bunch of other messy red things, and ate them nonchalantly in front of the Joker.
He ate his snacks and sweets, muttering: “That captain, the adrenaline is great…mmm, it’s a bubbly, delicious stress hormone, perfectly satisfying all the natural ingredients needed for an organic fear stew…”
“No, you idiot!” The Joker desperately grabbed his own scalp. “You illiterate, you were supposed to kidnap him, not kill him!”
He lowered his head and slapped himself twice on each ear: “Damn you, I should never have used Scott, he’s too unstable, after all, you’re a lunatic! AHAHAHAHAHA! Well, so am I! Lunatics should be with lunatics—why else did I pick you as my partner?”
The Joker asked again: “No one saw you kill Steve, right?”
“Awooooow…of course not!” The Ogre swallowed a mouthful of food and mumbled: “I hypnotized the soldiers at the door when I went in. No one knows Smith is dead. Even if he is, our plan won’t be affected.”
“Alright, alright.” The Joker helplessly put his hand on his forehead. “Let’s just do it, you’ve already done it.”
He scratched his head in a frantic way and said: “I’m dying of thirst! Stirk, hand me that glass of water on the table behind you.”
So the Joker took the glass of water handed to him by the Ogre, took a large gulp, and made a hissing sound.
Scarecrow, ignored for a while, finally couldn’t help but speak: “So, Joker, my partnership with you…”
With a snap, the Joker backhanded the glass in his hand onto the table, shattering it. Half a second later, he had jammed all the shards into the Ogre’s throat.
“Ugh! Ugh…you…you…”
The Ogre didn’t even react, he struggled to pull out a blade from his chest, but as soon as he stood up, he fell backward onto the ground, helplessly.
The Joker quickly stepped forward, grabbed the dagger from the Ogre’s chest, then straddled the Ogre’s constantly twitching body, swinging the blade again and again: “Fuck—you, you useless thing, you waste! Waste!”
Blood soaked the food the Ogre had been chewing, making it look as tender as a medium-rare steak.
Only after the red juice in the Ogre’s body had been squeezed dry did the Joker throw away the dagger and gracefully wipe the red spots off his face with his sleeve.
“Well,” he gave an obscene knight’s bow, “Scarecrow, my dearest friend, it’s time to show your true skills.”
Scarecrow remained silent for a moment, then stepped forward with his long, bamboo-like legs, crossing the Ogre’s dead body on the floor, walking up to the mayor, and without a word, used his skull-shaped spray to spray a large cloud of mist towards Mayor Caro’s face.
“No! Impossible! This can’t be true!”
Mayor Caro widened his eyes, bloodshot veins forming in his eyeballs under the chemical stimulation.
“I…it must be a nightmare…it’s not real!”
“Ah, but we’re very real, Mr. Mayor, super real.”
The Joker cackled: “If your guards were still alive to speak for you, they could testify for us!”
“No, no, poison!”
“Poison, Mr. Mayor? What do you see? What’s your greatest fear?”
“Spiders? Poisonous snakes?”
“Spoiled sushi?”
“No, no!” Under the influence of the fear toxin, Mayor Caro trembled, like a helpless infant.
“Snakes…snakes have…have poison!”
Scarecrow leaned in close to Mayor Caro’s face. Mayor Caro was horrified to see two venomous snakes slithering out of his eye sockets, yet Scarecrow remained indifferent, as if he hadn’t even seen the two snakes.
He heard Scarecrow’s whisper: “Snakes, Mr. Mayor. Pythons, vipers. They shoot out their forked tongues rapidly, prick the soft flesh on your throat, where your pulse is throbbing, lick it, just to quickly pierce…with their hooked…hollow…”
“Fangs!”
“Please…I beg you, what do you want?”
“Well, Mayor Caro—” The Joker said, “It’s time to use your influence! Dance lightly under the fiber optic lights, and make this city of darkness kneel!”
He laughed wildly, like a mischievous child, and the expressions of despair, anger, and terror on others’ faces when he finally revealed the answer were the greatest reward for him!
“Besides forcing those 20,000 people onto the battlefield, I have a special laughing gas gift for Bane—as a small revenge for stealing our Batman’s affection!”
…
…
…
Headache, battered body, possibly a broken rib.
My energy is almost depleted, I’ve never felt so exhausted, so terrible.
But I’m not dead yet.
Bane lowered his head, looking at the increasing number of enemies spreading towards him.
“Venom injection…maximum power.”
“Initiate.”
(End of chapter)
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